What is a
Transitional Character? According to Carlfred Broderick, a transitional
character is "one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course
of a lineage." He gives one noteworthy example of someone who was raised
in an abusive home, who grows up to have children of their own and not let
their past of abuse affect how they will raise their children. But rather they
will raise their children in a safe, loving, non-abusive environment.
This
inspired me to try something similar in my marriage with my husband. In no way
was I raised in an abusive home. Actually, I like to think that I was very
blessed while growing up; I like to think that my parents did a wonderful job
raising their kids. However, no one is perfect. I know that there are habits
that I unintentionally picked up from my parents that I do not want to carry on
into my marriage; my husband would say the same about himself and his parents-
I think almost anyone would. And that is where I want to be a transitional
character with my husband.
One habit
that I think affects marriages negatively is having unspoken expectations. When
my husband comes home from school and I am trying to make dinner, dishes need
to be washed, baby has a dirty diaper, and the front room is a mess, I might
expect him (without verbally asking) to get to work. Instead, he might just
start to play with our daughter, causing me to be upset because he simply did
not do what I did not ask him to do- it’s ridiculous, I know.
This a
habit that I think I have adopted from some of my family members. Now is this
as extreme as the abuse example that Broderick gave? No. But I think this is a
habit worthy of stopping because I could see it negatively affecting my
marriage relationship and family. So my first goal as a transitional character
is to eliminate unspoken expectations.
