Power

It is a stereotype among males that the husband "wears the pants" in the marriage. It is less common to find the wife being the controlling one in the relationship. Would you believe me if I said that there are other people who can hold the power of a marriage besides the husband or wife?

Think of this, a young girl always dreams of her wedding day, from the dress all the way down to the flavor of the cake. She grows older and falls in love with another man. The decide to get serious and "tie the knot". On the day of the wedding the mother of the bride is frantically running around making sure every detail is perfect. She hardly takes a moment to enjoy the actual wedding because she is concerned that her daughter's veil is positioned just right, the flowers are in their respective places, and the chicken is cooked to moist-perfection. As the bride and groom get into their car to take off for the Hawaii, the mother of the bride is crowding the couple, shouting reminders at them to, don't forget to wear sunscreen, to call and check-in with her when they arrive a the airport, prior to departure, and upon landing, etc.

A few months pass and the newlyweds are happily settled in to their new apartment, just across town from mom. Every once in a while they get in an argument; she wants a dog but he wants a truck, he wants a new sofa but she wants to paint the living room beige, and so on. When they get into these arguments, the wife always drives across town to mom's house. She tells mom all about the argument and every time mom sides with her and assures the daughter that her husband is wrong. The daughter drives back to their apartment and is set in her ways, thanks to her mother.

This is an example of a mother who has not let go of her daughter. In this situation, the mother-in-law has full control of the marriage. This is wrong.

In an article by miller he specifically says that parents no longer hold stewardship over their adult children once married. Children no longer look to their parents when making decisions, rather, husband and wife come together and agree on decisions without interference from parents.

We can all learn something from this. Whether you or your spouse "wear the pants" it is between you and your spouse. Let us not look outside our marriage during times of decision making.